How Was I to Know
by REBAiSMYiDOL
Summary: I thought I would fall apart with shattered dreams and a broken heart scramblin' in the dark. Please Read and Review!
1. How Was I to Know

Disclaimer: I own nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing. Although I wish I owned something, but don't we all? 

A/N: Enjoy!

The air was so still in the brilliant summer that you could hear the birds and every sound for miles, as Reba sat peacefully looking out her window. Over the past year so much had happened; it all seemed like a blur. After years of working on their marriage, Brock and Barbra Jean finally called it quits. And after many dates with a man named John Lexington, she became really attracted to him and agreed to take his hand in marriage. Nothing fancy, just a small ceremony and small reception in a ocean view restaurant. One hundred guests, wonderful music that seemed to go on all day, and all six bridesmaids who looked adorable in their delicate peach-colored organic dresses. John paid for everything. 

Did she mention this man John Lexington was filthy rich?

John Lexington, a rich lawyer, graduated from Princeton. His face printed on over twenty billboards. And owned over five law practices placed around the United States. One in New York, Los Angeles, Tennessee, Florida, and in Houston, Texas, where he had met Reba. They both fell in love instantly. He was a bright, lively man, always playing pranks on his friends, and intent on seeing to it that everyone had a good time, wherever they went particularly Reba. John was seldom serious about anything and always joking. Reba was touched by how attentive he was, and amused to find him always in such good spirits. He was fun to be with, easy to talk to, and his laughter and high spirits seemed to be contagious.

Everyone liked him. Except Brock of course. Although it had been hard to finally give Reba away, after many years of loving her, he couldn't bear to see her in the arms of another man. He began to think this man's gentility was all a façade. One that would over time demolish.

But since when did anyone listen to Brock?

The wedding was scheduled for June of last year. Four weeks in Honolulu, Hawaii, is one of the places they chose for their Honey Moon. Four weeks later, they returned to a small apartment that John had bought for them. When they returned, it was then that she noticed he did a good deal of drinking, to a point where sober was out of the question. 

By then she hardly saw John.

Reba was worried about his drinking. He'd come home drunk, late every evening. She started to have suspicions. Did he go to work? Was he actually spending all this time in his office? The one thing she didn't doubt was John's affection for her, or what a kind man he was. He was always so compassionate to her, and had an answer for everything. 

That's probably why he made such a fine lawyer.

Months passed and the drinking continued. It was by January of the new year, Reba began to look pale. 

No one said anything, except for Brock. He wanted to know what was going on with her. So, he invited her over his house for a cup of coffee, while every one was out.

"I'm fine." She tried her best give him a reassuring smile before Brock could ask her anything. She tried to seem amused that her ex-husband was concerned. When the coffee was served, Reba turned paler and didn't attempt to drink it.

"Darlin', what's wrong? Please tell me, everyone's worried about you." He'd been worried about her since the day she came back from her honeymoon. She seemed unusually quiet lately. Even during the speech John had given about her on Christmas dinner; which was one speech that someone wouldn't fail to remember.

"Really, I'm fine." Reba insisted, and then finally began to cry. She found herself sobbing in her ex-husband's arms and admitting that she wasn't fine at all. She was miserable. She told him about how John was never home, or how he'd come home late drunk. Reba talked about how she'd try to get him to spend time with her, but he'd brush her off till later. She told him that John's drinking became worse than ever and he'd have his drink every day long before noon and even as soon as he'd wake up. Then to make matters worse, she had learned she was pregnant. 

"That's great!" Brock shouted and made an attempt to make himself sound excited. 

Reba smiled through tears at his attempt of sounding happy for her. She was unable to explain how unhappy her new life really was. He tried to convince her that everything was going to work out happily, especially after they had the baby.

"Remember, when you told me you were pregnant with Cheyenne? I was so excited, I carried you every where, afraid that you were going to get hurt or too tired." Brock chuckled, reminding her of times so long ago. 

Times where she was happy.

Reba smiled once again before giving him a hug. She whispered a 'thanks' in his ear. She was in a way happier now. That was until she returned to her lonely, empty apartment. John wasn't there, as usual, and this time he didn't even come home that night at all. 

The next day he was contrite when he came home at noon, explaining that after work he went out with a couple of friends and played cards till 4 a.m. and then stayed where he was because he didn't want to come home and wake her.

Reba couldn't help but think that these 'friends' were 'lady friends'.

"Is that all you do?" For the first time, she turned on him angrily which startled him. He noticed the vehemence of her tone. She had always let things slide after he'd explain them, but this time she was clearly very angry.

"What do you mean?" he looked shocked at her question, his innocent brown eyes opened wide.

"What I mean is, what exactly do you do when you stay out until one or two o'clock in the morning? Sometimes you don't even come home." There was real anger in her voice with a tint of pain and disappointment.

He smiled convinced he would always be able to delude her. "Well sometimes I have a little too much to drink. That's all. It seems easier for me to stay wherever I am when that happens, than to come home and bother you while you're asleep. I don't want to upset you, Reba."

"Too late for that isn't it. You're hardly ever home. You're always out with your friends, and you come home drunk every night. That's not how married people behave." She was steaming.

"It isn't? Are you referring me to your ex-husband, or normal people? Should I cheat on you or have an affair with my secretary? Is that a real marriage? I'm sorry to crush your dreams, honey, I'm not Brock."

"I never asked you to be. But who are you? Who am I married to? I never see you. I only see you at parties or family events, and even then you're off with your friends, playing cards, telling some stories and drinking. Or sometimes you're out , you don't even show and only God knows where you are then." she said sadly.

"Would you rather I stay home with you?" 

"Yes. I would rather you stay home with me. Is that such a shocking thing to hear, that a wife wants to be with her husband?" 

They looked each other straight in the eyes. But she should have the noticed, the moment he walked into the house. He'd been drinking. It was only noon, and he was clearly drunk, she looked at him disgustingly. 

"Maybe we should discuss this some other time." she said.

"Yeah, maybe we should."

He had gone out again after their argument but he returned early that night and the next morning made an effort to get up at a decent time. It was then he realized how sick she was. She usually enjoyed getting up and making breakfast, but she'd been unable to face the stove for the past month. John hadn't been home long enough to even notice.

"Is something wrong? Are you sick? Do you need to go see a doctor?" He looked concerned as he glanced between her and his newspaper. He heard her throw up horribly after they got up.

"I've been to the doctor." she said quietly looking him in the eyes. 

"Oh? What did he say? Influenza? You ought to be careful, my friends mom almost died of it last week."

Reba smiled quietly to herself. "I don't think I'll die of this."

He went back to his paper. There was a long silence, and then he turned to her and told her about something in the newspaper. Sometimes she wasn't sure if she loved or hated him. Maybe Brock was right. Maybe things would change after the baby.

"I'm having a baby." she almost whispered to him, and for a moment he seemed not to hear her. 

He did hear her.

He turned to her as he stood up and looked as though he hoped she were joking. "Are you serious?" She nodded, unable to say anything for to him. Tears filled her eyes. In a way, it was relieving to finally tell him. She had known since before Christmas, but hadn't ever mustered up the courage to tell him about it.

"Yes, I'm serious." Her eyes demonstrated how serious she was as he watched her.

"Don't you think it's a little too soon? I thought we were being careful." He looked annoyed and not pleased. She felt a sob catch in her throat as she hoped tears would not fall now.

"Yeah, well I thought so too." She raising her tear-filled eyes.

He walked over to her and gently stroked her hair. "Hey, don't cry. The timings not that right, but I guess that's not something you always get to call, is it?"

She shook her head, and he left the room. He didn't mention it again, until he went out. John was meeting friends for lunch and he wasn't saying when he'd be back. He never did.

She cried herself to sleep that night.

He didn't come home till' eight o'clock the next morning. When he did, he was desperately drunk from the night before. So drunk, he hadn't even made it past the couch in the living room. 

Reba heard him come in. But he was unconscious by the time she found him.

A/N: Okay so I decided to do this story. This idea's been in my mind, for a while now. I think I might continue this, if you all like it. Lol. Anyways, please leave your review and let me know what you think J.


	2. State of Mind

A/N: Enjoy!

Chapter 2: State of Mind.

For the next month it was painfully plain how badly shaken he was by her little announcement. The idea of a marriage was frightening enough to him, but the idea of a baby filled him with nothing less than terror. Soon his drinking was obvious to everyone but no one said anything. No one else was to know about the baby, besides Barbra Jean and Brock. She had only confided in them with what was going on at home.

"Reba, some men are just terrified of that kind of responsibility. I know I was, when you first told me you were pregnant." Brock said as he glanced lovingly at her. "And John is not exactly famous for his ability to settle down. He's always working. As soon as he sees that baby nine months from now, he'll notice it wasn't the dire threat he thought it to be." He took him all the strength he had to tell her that.

Brock was more sympathetic than he let on to her; he had frequently told Barbra Jean that he thought the man was a real bastard. But didn't want to tell Reba what he thought. He preferred to offer her encouragement about the baby, no matter how much it hurt him. He wanted to be there for her. He wanted to tell her he loved her. But something kept stopping him.

Reba's state of mind stayed pretty low and John's drinking only got worse. It took all of Barbra Jean's inventiveness to get Reba out at all. Finally she got her to go out shopping. "Reba, everything's gunna be fine." They were shopping through Dillard's, when Reba suddenly became very pale and stumbled as she grabbed blindly for Barbra Jean.

"Are you alright?" Barbra Jean looked instantly frightened when she saw her.

"I...I'm fine...I don't know what happened." She had a terrible pain but it only lasted for a moment.

"Why don't we sit down." Barbra Jean was quick to signal someone and ask for a chair and a drink of water, and by then Reba was clutching at her hand again. There were beads of sweat on her eyebrows, and her face was grayish green as she looked up at her best friend.

"I'm so sorry...Barbra Jean, I don't feel well at all..." And almost as she said the words, she fainted. The ambulance came as soon as it was called, and Reba was carried out of Dillard's on a stretcher. She was conscious again by then, and Barbra Jean looked terrified as she ran along beside her. They let her ride in the ambulance to the nearest hospital with Reba.

Barbra Jean called Brock as soon as she got into the ambulance and explained to him what happened. In a matter of moments he told the kids not to worry and speeded to the hospital. Brock was more worried than anyone.

They arrived at the hospital minutes later. The doctor had informed that Reba wanted to speak to Brock. Brock was in the room with Reba for the longest time, while Barbra Jean sobbed outside. Brock walked out with a few tears in his eyes and looked over to Barbra Jean who almost sprinted out her seat when she saw him.

"Is she all right?" Barbra Jean asked anxiously and Brock guided Barbra Jean to the chair and sat down next to her.

"She lost the baby...but she's alright." Brock said sadly but he was almost more concerned about her life with John. He told Barbra Jean what Reba told him. She was crying hysterically, and insisting that it was all her fault. She had moved a piece of furniture by herself last night, but John was never there to help her. And then the whole story tumbled out again, how unhappy she was with him, how much he drank, and how unhappy he was about the baby.

It was several hours before the doctors would let them see her again and Brock had ordered Barbra Jean to go back home and tell the kids she was alright. He decided to spend the night. They had tried to call John too, but he was out, as usual and no one knew where he was or when he would be returning. The secretary at his office was very sorry to hear of Reba's "accident" and she promised to refer Mr. Lexington to the hospital if he called or appeared, which everyone knew was highly unlikely.

"It's all my fault..." Reba was sobbing when Brock entered her room again. "I didn't want it enough...I should of waited for John...I was upset because he was so annoyed and now..." She sobbed on incoherently and Brock took her in his arms and tried to stop her. Brock kissed her forehead and he felt her snake her arms around his waist.

They were going to keep her in the hospital for a few days to make sure she was alright. The next morning Brock called Barbra Jean and told her to come to the hospital, because he had some business to take care of. Reba was sleeping peacefully and he put on his jacket and kissed her on the forehead and then looked down to her lips. He was tempted to kiss her on the lips and he did. Brock smiled and walked towards the door to find Barbra Jean standing there.

"Why don't you just tell her how you feel?" Barbra Jean asked with her arms crossed. A smile formed across her face.

"I don't think this is the right moment to tell her. It'll only make me sound selfish." he said as he walked away.

"When will be the right time?" interrogated Barbra Jean.

"I don't know Barbra Jean. Maybe some day, just don't mention anything to Reba, please." And with that he walked away.

When John came home that afternoon, he found Brock waiting for him in the living room, to his amazement. Fortunately, he had less to drink than usual and was surprisingly sober, considering it was a little over noon. He had a boring evening so he had finally decided to come home early.

"Jesus Christ, Brock! What are you doin' here? Tryin' to give me a heart attack?" John said frightened.

"No, but you deserve one." said Brock as he got up. And then John realized that something had to be very wrong for Brock to be waiting for him in his apartment.

"Is Reba all right?" he asked trying to sound concerned.

"No, she isn't." Brock looked away for a moment and then back at John. There was no delicate way to say it. "She lost the baby yesterday morning. Barbra Jean is over at the hospital with her now."

"She did?" John looked startled, and felt relieved and hoped he wasn't so drunk that he couldn't conceal it. "I'm sorry to hear that." He said it as though she were someone else's wife, and it had been someone else's baby. "Is she okay?"

"I believe she'll be all right and possibly able to have more children. What is apparently not right, is that she tells me that things have been somewhat less than idyllic between the two of you. Normally, I wouldn't interfere in Reba's life, but the way she explains you to me, maybe it's time I should start. Since yesterday you were unable to be reached, when we asked your secretary to give you the message if you came in she nearly scoffed."

Brock walked over to John and looked him straight in the eye. "This unhappy life isn't healthy for Reba. Don't continue to hurt her. She's been through a lot and the last thing she needs is you screwin' up her life like this. Is there something we all should know about now or do you feel you'll be able to continue your marriage with Reba in a happier way? Because if you can't then end it."

John swallowed hard. "I...I...of course...would you like a drink?" John stumbled over his words as he made his way over to where he kept his liquor and poured himself a glass of Scotch with a splash of water.

"I don't think so." Brock sat down again and sat expectantly, watching John with displeasure. There was no question in John's mind that Brock expected an answer. "Is there some problem that keeps you from acting as an appropriate husband?"

"I...well...uh...well you're a father right? You've been there. This baby thing was a little unexpected."

"I understand. Babies often are. But if you love the woman you've decided to marry, it's a good unexpected thing." Brock stood up once more and looked over to John's disheveled state. "I'm sure you'll be very anxious to visit Reba this afternoon, won't you?"

"Yeah."

"Good, I'll be there all day. I'm sure I'll be glad to see you there." Brock said as he made his way to the front door. He turned in the doorway and faced John for the last time. "Do we understand each other? Cause next time I show up at your house, you won't be so lucky to live."

"Yeah. I understand."

"Perfect. I'll see you at the hospital." Brock said as he walked out the door.

John heaved a sigh of relief as he closed the door behind him and poured himself another Scotch before he went to lie down. He wondered what it had been like, losing it, but he didn't want to ask himself too many questions. He knew little about things like that and had no desire to expand on it. He was sorry for her, but it was odd how little he felt about the baby, or for that matter, for Reba.

He had never anticipated how shackled he would feel, how bored, how oppressed, how claustrophobic. There was nothing about being married, he liked. He wasn't sure if he even liked Reba. Sure he loved her at some point in their relationship. She was a beautiful woman, and she would have made the perfect wife for someone else. She was intelligent, and pleased to be with, he had even been excited by her physically at first. But now it felt different; the last thing he wanted was to be married.

John Lexington showed up at the hospital later that afternoon dutifully. He looked pretty somber in a dark suit and dark tie. The truth was he was extremely hung over. He had bought flowers for her, but she didn't seem to care. She lied in bed staring out the window. She was holding Cheyenne's hand, as he walked into the room. He kind of felt sorry for her. Reba turned her head to look at him, and without a word, tears started to roll down her cheek. Cheyenne wasn't comfortable with the idea of leaving her mother in the room alone with him, but her mother gave her a reassuring squeeze of the hand. Cheyenne kissed her mother goodbye and walked by John, as she whispered a silent "I'm sorry, John." Cheyenne knew that from the look on his face he wasn't.

"Are you mad at me?" Reba asked him tears continuing to fall down her cheek. She made no effort to get up, she just laid there. Her once red vibrant hair, now tangled up in a mess, and her face was as pale as the hospital sheets. She had lost a lot of blood and she was too weak to sit up.

John had no idea what to say to her. "Of course not. Why would I be mad at you?" John asked as he moved a bit closer to her. The pain in her eyes was almost more than her could bear.

"It's my fault...I moved that stupid chest in our bedroom the other night...and I don't know...the doctor says these things happen 'cause they're meant to."

"See..." he began. "It's better this way anyway. We're not ready for a baby."

Reba was silent for the longest time and then she turned to look at him. "You're happy we lost it, aren't you?" Her eyes bore into his until they almost caused him pain as he tried to struggle with his headache. Maybe it wasn't such a good idea to over drink it.

"I didn't say that."

"You didn't have to. You're not sorry, are you?"

"I'm sorry for you."

"You never wanted this baby."

"No, I didn't." He was honest with her, he felt that he at least owed her that much.

"Well neither did I, thanks to you, and that's probably why I lost it." Reba stated. He didn't know what to say to her so he kept quiet.

He sent red roses at the hospital the next day and visited her again. He never mentioned the baby to her, but tried his best to make conversation. John was surprised at how awkward it felt, to be with her. It was as if they had both become strangers over night. The truth was they always were strangers. The only difference was now it was more difficult to hide it.

When Reba returned home - to the apartment. She felt out of place, as if it were someone else's home. She felt like a stranger. John felt this way as well. He had only been home to change his clothes. Sometimes he spent the afternoon with her then he'd make the excuse that he had to go out to see some friend about a business opportunity. He knew she wouldn't object to it and she didn't. Reba watched him go out every night and she objected to the idea of coming in at two in the morning. Sometimes he was so surprisingly drunk, the door man in the lobby was forced to help him up to his apartment.

Reba tipped the man and watched as John collapsed on the couch unconscious. She stood their looking at him with tears in her eyes. As Reba walked away she felt an ache in her heart for the baby she had lost.

She had finally understood that her marriage to John was nothing more than a source of endless grief and disappointment. Reba walked into her room and looked at the suitcase she had packed. She had decided she was leaving him and Houston. She wanted to get out and go elsewhere, anywhere was better than endless pain and misery in a failed marriage with a man she never loved.

She wrote him a letter and included her divorce papers that she had had for the longest time and walked out the door, leaving the letter on the table.

She had written another letter ; one for a man she had loved and still did.

Brock.

_Dear Brock,_

_I appreciate you for all that you've done. You've helped through everything and I just want you to know that I'm grateful. You were always there for me and I'm not just talking about during my marriage with John. I'm glad to say you're one of my best friends and I love you. I never stopped and I always will. But I just have to get away. I'm going to Lori Ann's for a while in California. Please give the children my regards and tell Barbra Jean thanks._

_Love, _

_Reba._

She drove to his house and got out. Reba teared a bit as she slipped it quietly in his mailbox. She needed a fresh beginning.

She wanted to start all over.

A/N: So what do you guys think? I really love hearing from all of you! Please Read and Review!


	3. This Love

A/N: Enjoy!

Chapter 3: This Love.

The following day Brock awoke and decided he head down and start breakfast. Henry and Jake were both staying with him this weekend since Jake said things got pretty hectic around the house, with Reba not living there anymore. Little Henry and Jake were already awake by the time Brock got up and were sitting downstairs watching cartoons.

"Hey guys. What are you doin' up so early?" Brock asked as he walked towards the couch.

Jake turned to Henry and rolled his eyes, "Dad, it's eleven o'clock." Henry smiled and nodded his head as they both turned back to look at the television.

Brock chuckled and walked towards the kitchen, "Are you both hungry?" he called out.

Both of them nodded. "Yes Daddy." said little Henry as he continued to watch batman with his older brother.

A half an hour later, Brock called both Henry and Jake into the kitchen for the breakfast, he had prepared for them. He wasn't such a good cook, but he made a mean bowl of cheerios. Jake and Henry sat down at the table and looked down at the bowls staring in front of them. "Dad, this took you a half an hour to make?" asked Jake as he heard little Henry laugh along with him and start to eat his cheerios.

"Alright, alright. So I'm not such a great cook, but I tried." Brock said, as he sat down next to his two sons at the table. They both sat there and ate breakfast as Brock admired them. Time had flown by so fast, Jake was just starting high school, and Henry already a second grader. It seemed like just yesterday Reba gave birth to Jake. He was out playing golf, when Reba had called to tell him her water broke. And Henry, when he was conceived he realized his marriage with Reba had finally crumbled. But looking at them now, today, he knew that everything that had happened, happened for a reason.

Brock was just staring at them, when Jake snapped him out of his trance. "Daddy, what am I supposed to call John. I've never really spoken to him before, but is he going to be another dad to me? Am I supposed to call him anything?"

Brock mood changed, "You're not supposed to call him anything, when you see him, you just point to him and say 'That's the bastard that ruined my mother's life'." Henry and Jake both looked at him shocked as he realized what he had just said. "Oh great, both your mom's will shoot me, if they find out I just cussed in front of you."

Henry laughed, "Don't worry, daddy. We won't tell anyone, right Jake?"

Jake nodded, "Yeah, besides, I'm thirteen I use that kind of language all the time, if not worse."

Brock laughed and then realized he should play the more fatherly role. "Well you shouldn't. It's bad language, and it's not polite. How do you expect to get a girlfriend with that kind of language?"

Jake shook his head, "Mom, told me that's how you got her attention."

Brock smiled, "No, your mom is wrong. I was playing football one day and it was the day she came to one of my games. Long story, short she distracted me and I missed the pass so I cussed out loud, when the other team got a touch down. It was a complete accident, but from that day on, that's how she noticed me. Not that I wasn't noticeable before, 'cause I was co-captain, but it was 'cause your mom was sort of a book worm."

Jake and Henry looked at each other and Jake rolled his eyes. "Sure sounds like you got her attention by cussing."

Brock chuckled, "Alright, alright. What is today? 'gang up on dad' day? Speaking of your mom, have you seen her?"

Jake frowned, "No...I haven't seen her, since she came out of the hospital, and that was a while ago."

Henry followed his brother and frowned as well, "I miss Reba."

"Henry, you're starting to sound like your mom." he said laughing. "I'm sure Reba's fine. She's just working things out with John, ever since the accident. They probably just need some alone time, that's all. She'll be back in no time."

"Dad, I don't like John." Jake said as Henry nodded.

Brock gave his two sons a look of compassion, "I don't either. But your mother, obviously loves him. So we've got no say in the matter." He walked up from the table and walk towards the front door. "Guys, I'm gunna check the mail, hold on."

Both boys nodded, as Brock reached inside the mailbox to gather the mail. "...bills...more bills...letter from Reba...more bills..." he paused his flipping through the mail and flipped back to the letter from Reba. _'A letter from Reba? What could she not tell him in person, that she had to write a letter about?' _he thought to himself.

He opened up the letter and read it.

_Dear Brock,_

_I appreciate you for all that you've done. You've helped through everything and I just want you to know that I'm grateful. You were always there for me and I'm not just talking about during my marriage with John. I'm glad to say you're one of my best friends and I love you. I never stopped and I always will. But I just have to get away. I'm going to Lori Ann's for a while in California. Please give the children my regards and tell Barbra Jean thanks._

_Love, _

_Reba._

Brock was flabbergasted. He could not speak, he felt as if there was a big lump in his throat. He looked down at what she had wrote. She had admitted to loving him, and she's leaving to California? What was he going to do? Brock folded the letter and put it in his pocket, he was going to follow her. He wasn't gunna let her get away. Not this time.

He ran inside, picked up the phone, and asked Barbra Jean to come over. He told her everything and she said she'd be over in about five minutes. He was happy he was able to talk to her about this kind of stuff now. In the mean time, he had gotten ready, and packed a weeks worth of clothes. Barbra Jean arrived just in time, and handed him a map, he would be able to use. He took the whole phone book and figured he would look for Lori-Ann's number. It wouldn't be easy considering she'd changed her name, three million times due to the excessive amount of husbands.

Soon after, he got into the car, turned on the ignition and was off. While he was driving, he passed by Reba and John's apartment. He decided he would stop, and have a word with John. He parked and got out the car, slamming his door. He walked up to the apartment, and walked right in, since the door was unlocked. He stopped dead in his tracks, when he saw John on the couch, completely intoxicated.

"Where the hell is Reba?" Brock asked as he walked towards the couch.

John tried to get up and face him as he stumbled, "Something about California, I think. But who cares, anyway. I'll share this with you, here." he said holding up his drink.

Brock pushed John's hand out the way, "I don't want your filthy drink. Why the hell is Reba going to California for, what did you do to her?"

John rolled his eyes and fell back down on the couch. "Relax, I didn't do anything." he said taking a gulp of the scotch that was in his cup. "She served me divorce papers, and left. What am I supposed to do run after her?"

Brock shook his head and looked away disgustingly at John. "You disgust me, you know that?" Brock said. "I bet you didn't even love her, you just married her for one thing, and when it didn't go your way, you backed down."

John took another gulp of his drink. "What does it matter? She's just some other woman. She isn't important, I gave her everything. I made her the talk of the town. Everyone walked up to her, knowing she was married to me. You should of seen all of the other lawyers in the firm, they were so jealous." He swayed a bit as he tried to get up. "They kept talkin' bout how I'm lucky enough to screw the pretty red head, in the real estate building next to us. That's all they ever talked about, but I can tell you one thing, she's one great lady, she was fun to scr-"

John didn't even get to finish his sentence, before he was knocked off his feet by Brock. He looked down at the almost unconscious man on the floor, "Don't you ever say that about Reba ever again. She was right to divorce you, you no good piece of crap. Reba deserves better than you, and she can do better than you. If I ever see you as close as an inch, near her again I will hunt you down, and have you arrested. You hear me?" The nearly unconscious man nodded slowly as Brock left and got into his car.

The next day in California, Reba had just arrived at Lori-Ann's house. Lori-Ann had greeted her in and they sat at the table talking.

"Reba, honey, what's wrong? Are you having trouble with John again? I thought he would change after the accident." said Lori-Ann.

Reba tried to force a smile but she couldn't. "I served him divorce papers."

"Aww, don't worry about it. He doesn't deserve you and you deserve better." Lori-Ann said trying to comfort her friend.

Reba shook her head, "It wasn't like this though. He was different before we married, he was fun and funny and compassionate. Then one day everything just came crashing down. Why is it that I can't find anyone to make me happy? Why is God punishing me? Every relationship I try to start, it ends badly. What did I do to deserve this?" she said now as she started to sob.

Lori-Ann pulled her best friend into hug, "Sweetie, you've done nothing to deserve this. Everything happens for a reason, maybe those men weren't the right ones for you. Maybe God's just waiting for the right man to pair you up with. Come on, cheer up."

Reba tried to cheer up but continued to sob, "I can't Lori-Ann, I can't. I gave myself away to someone who didn't care, I married, abandoned my family, and I love my ex-husband, when he doesn't care for me that way anymore. My life can't get any worse."

Lori-Ann pulled away shocked and looked at Reba, "You told Brock you loved him?" she asked almost startled.

Reba wiped some of the tears off her face, "I wrote him a letter. I couldn't sit there and take rejection, it would only end in more pain."

"Honey, have you ever thought that maybe he'd feel the same?"

Reba shook her head 'no', "Lori-Ann, he left me eight years ago for his pregnant dental hygienist, and then he pranced her around in my house, that I won in the divorce every single day, to rub it in my face."

Lori-Ann smiled, "Maybe he came around to see you?"

"I doubt it."

Lori-Ann paused for a minute and thought, "Okay, what about that plumber you had a date with? You told me Brock was jealous as hell."

Reba sighed, "It was natural feelings. He just felt uncomfortable seeing me with someone else."

"Reba, I've seen the way he looks at you and it's more than the 'I love you as the mother of my children' type." Lori-Ann said.

Reba rolled her eyes, "Lori-Ann, even if he did. You think someone as cheap as Brock would follow me to California? Especially with the gas prices this high up."

Lori-Ann was about to say something, when she was cut off by the phone ringing. She picked it up and answered.

_on the phone:_

_"Hello?" _

_"Lori-Ann?"_

_"This is she, who's this?"_

_"It's me, Brock. Is Reba there?"_

_"Yeah..."_

_"Good, I'm outside, if I've got the right address. Tell her to come out."_

_"Alright, but..."_

_"Lori-Ann, I don't want any buts, I just want Reba. Can you do me this favor, please?"_

_"Okay, sure."_

_"Okay, see you in a few, Bye."_

_"Bye."_

_end of phone call._

Lori-Ann looked over to Reba in almost a shocked 'I told you, he loved you' kind of way. "Well, who was it?" asked Reba.

"It was Brock. He's looking for you." Almost as if as soon as she said it, she heard a knock on the door. They both look towards each other as Lori-Ann smiled and moved towards the door to open it.

A/N: Sorry it took so long to update. My only excuse is school. It holds you back from everything. Lol. Well anyway, I hope you enjoyed this chapter, and review to let me know what you think. :)


	4. Till' I Said It To You

A/N: Enjoy!

Chapter 4: Till' I Said It To You.

Lori-Ann opened the door slowly as it revealed Brock on the other side. Reba tried to rack her brain for thoughts why he would be here. Why did he follow her? Did he love her? Is she just going insane? Brock smiled as he looked at Reba who seemed to be staring at him for quite a long time.

Lori-Ann rolled her eyes at the both of them for being silent, "Brock would you like to come in?"

Brock nodded but then paused, "Um...Actually..."

Reba cut him off and looked at him suspiciously, "Brock, what are you doing here?"

Brock sighed, "Reba, we need to talk. Now. It's very important." He finished as he looked into her deep blue eyes.

Lori-Ann exchanged glances between the two. "I need a drink. I'll go out and get something while you too speak of your problems."

"Lori-Ann, this is your house. I don't wanna kick you out your own house." Reba said.

Brock thought and maybe Reba was right. They should go somewhere more private to speak of this. "Can I take you somewhere to eat? I rather discuss this somewhere else. A diner, a deli, anywhere else?"

Reba looked over to Lori-Ann who gave her a look. "Go on, you'll tell me about everything later anyway, I'm gonna go out I'll meet you back home later tonight." Lori-Ann answered as if reading her thoughts.

Reba walked out the door as Brock followed. She walked towards his car and waited for him to get in. "I'm not hungry." She said as soon as he turned on the ignition.

Brock sighed, "Then we'll just take a drive or something."

They drove for what seemed hours. Neither of them said a word. The silence began to become uncomfortable. Soon both Reba and Brock were shifting in their seat, trying to make conversation with one another. Reba finally decided to put an end to the silence.

"Brock, why are you here?"

Brock turned to look at her. "How can I not be...with a letter like this?" he says as he pulls the letter out of his pocket and pulls the car over to the nearest sidewalk.

"Oh..."

Brock silently chuckled to himself. "You know what's so funny?" he asks as Reba shakes her head 'no'. "My ex-wife tells me she loves me and then runs off...and I'm forced to follow her all the way to California. I'm one-hundred percent sure this would make a million dollar movie."

Reba rolled her eyes at his comment. How could that be so funny? She poured her feelings out to him and he's mocking her. "Listen, Brock...I'm pretty sure I was a tiny bit...well...intoxicated when I wrote that letter. So I wouldn't be surprised, if it sound absurd...I know you...well I know you...I know you don't-"

Brock cut her off and ended her babbling with a simple answer. "I feel the same way too."

At first the answer shocked her. Then she became confused, "What?"

"I love you too."

She still could not believe her ears, "Pardon me?"

Brock rolled his eyes and smiled, "Reba...I said I love you too. I mean you can't honestly believe I didn't."

"That's impossible! You can't love me!"

Brock forced back a giggle. "What do you mean I can't love you? I've always loved you. We've known each other for nearly twenty somethin' years and you still question my love for you?"

"We're not supposed to love each other that way anymore! I don't love you that way. Sure it's the whole 'I love you as the father of my children' type of way, but not in love with you, Brock." She said as she finally calmed down.

"So you lied in the letter?"

"No. Yes. I mean - I just don't know. I was confused and you were the person closest I leaned on too. I didn't know what I was saying. I was still hurt from the loss of the baby and then my divorce to John. My whole world came crashing down and I just thought that maybe saying that I loved you would make me feel better. And it did, that is until you followed me." She tried to reason with him, but inside she knew she was only fooling herself into thinking that way.

"You don't love me?" he asked.

"No." she lied.

Brock nodded his head. "Then I can't believe I spent so much money on following you over here. Just to waste my time when I could be looking for someone who cares about me."

"Wait a minute; I thought you said you loved me too. So you lied to me?" she asked.

Brock shook his head, "No, I thought I loved you. I do love you. When you wrote that, it just felt so natural for me to say it back to you and I believed I felt it, but you didn't. I love you Reba. I know you don't feel the same way as me. But I don't only love you as the mother of my children." He stated trying to choke back some tears.

"Brock...listen to me." she said.

Brock rolled his eyes, "What? You're so quick to tell me you don't love me, but now you want me to listen to you?"

Reba sighed rubbing her temples in the process. "Brock, when I wrote that letter I was fragile, I was hurtin'. I didn't expect you to follow me here. And even if you did love me, I don't think I could live with getting hurt again. Not after this. What if we stop communicating again? What if you some how decide I'm not good enough again and you go and try to find yourself? Have you thought of that? Do you know what that would do to me emotionally again?"

Brock gave her a look of compassion. Was that what was holding her back? "Reba, I love you. It's always been you. I'd swear that I won't ever leave you again you've got to believe me. One night with Barbara Jean changed my life and not for the better. God Reba, I mean don't you realize it? I moved three houses down from you with my then wife and I came over everyday. There's got to be a reason for it."

"The kids." She pointed out.

"Not only them. You. Every time I saw you I got chills down my spine. Sometimes when you were those tight blouses that are revealing yet conservative and that bring out your deep blue eyes I wanna pounce on you. Every time you throw me a sarcastic remark, I wanna kiss you. Anytime you hurt, I wanna hurt the person that made you feel that way. Honey, it was you twenty eight years ago and it's you now and for all eternity."

His speech brought tears to her eyes. She saw the sincerity in his deep blue eyes. She wondered if he meant what he said, she knew she couldn't take the pain if he was to leave her again. God, he smelled so good. She just wanted to pounce on him. But she wouldn't let him know how she was feeling. She vowed to herself long ago she had stopped loving him. Why did she have to deny her true feelings?

Brock stared back at her for some long time waiting for any type of reaction - a face movement, a gesture - anything. He wondered what was to happen if he leaned in to kiss her. Would she push him away? Would she kiss back?

"Please, just take me back to Lori-Ann's."

Without any words shed after that he started up the engine. As he drove her to Lori-Ann's he longed to find out what she was thinking. The weather intensified. The way the wind howled made it impossible to believe they were in California. As he saw the clouds come together in a somewhat unified form he realized a terrible rain storm was bound to hit. Brock speeded up quite a bit and in no time he arrived at his destination.

As Reba began to remove her seatbelt he gently grabbed her arm, "Please think about you and me. Give it just a thought."

"There is no you and me." she said as she released her arm from his gentle grasp and ran up to the front door before it started to pour.

He sighed in annoyance. Why must she be so stubborn? Thunder roared and lightning flashed. _"Great." _he thought to himself as he looked at the door Reba had previously entered. Brock then got out of the car and ran up to the door.

He knocked and waited for a response. Reba peeked through the window and rolled her eyes at his presence. "Reba, I just drove you home. I know you're there."

Lightning struck and lit up the house as she opened the door to let him in.

"We need to talk." he stated simply as he walked in.

"Brock, there is no-"

Even before she said anything he began nodding in contradiction. "Yes there is. No matter how hard we try to deny it or beat around the bush even after all these years, there is definitely something between us."

She turned away from facing him and looked out the window.

"Reba..." when she didn't move or respond he let out a long breath. "Please Reba, look at me."

She didn't want to but the sincerity in his tone of voice made her heart melt.

"I want you Reba, not anyone else."

She made an attempt to leave the room but he stopped her. "No, wait please. I want to explain."

He fell silent for a moment trying to seek the right words. "Between our divorce and my affair, I've been hauling around a load of guilt and regret. I thought I could learn to love Barbara Jean, but I realized love doesn't work that way. I've been carrying a torch for you for twenty eight years, Reba. Especially since all that time I thought you were mine. When I watched you walk down that aisle to marry that jerk, I knew what I felt for you was ten times more powerful than anything I had ever felt for Barbara Jean."

He sat down on the couch, leaning forward and rested his elbows on his knees staring at his feet. Reba's heart began to pound. She was trembling all over. With anticipation. With hope. With a wild desire that threatened her to throw morals out the window.

He looked up and caught her beautiful blue eyes. "I'm not gonna leave, Reba. Not this time." He reached for her and pulled her close as he stood up. "I need you."

She willingly went into his arms and met his lips with hers. Lightning flashed and the boom that followed knocked them back on the couch on top of one another.

Both pulses leaped in anticipation of what was to come as they glorified in their rising passion. It was always this way between her and Brock. She loved him. She always did and always would have.

Reba wrapped her arms around him, taking his weight gladly, and a heavy, sensual burden that stirred something deep in her. Without breaking their kiss, he touched her everywhere as if he couldn't explore her fast enough. Taking the time for prolonged foreplay seemed beyond him.

"Reba." he breathed into her ear. He pushed her slightly away far enough to get a hold of her jeans. He pulled them off and flung them to the floor, closely followed by her under garments. He whispered soft love words, as he caressed her stomach. "We have got to slow down." he groaned. But even as he said it he grew warm and hard, his need building urgently.

"This is too fast," he moaned, shaking his head. He then began withdrew his hand, "If I don't slow-"

"No." She arched against his hardness. "No, don't wait. I've been waiting for this to happen since forever."

Her plea sent him over the edge. He pulled her T-shirt over her head and tossed it aside. When he fumbled with her bra, she moved to help him, even though her fingers were shaking and the familiar clasp seemed difficult. He pulled his shirt over his head and tossed it aside. Quickly he shed his jeans and shoes and socks. Just before he was ready to sink back on the couch, she stopped him.

"Not here. The bed." Finding her bed in the guest room meant a delay. He was about to protest, when she kissed him hard on the mouth. "I've waited too long for this. Let's not waste it on this uncomfortable couch." He picked her up and followed her directions toward the guest room. The electricity was still off and the room was dark.

"You're beautiful." he whispered as he kissed her breasts and allowed his fingers to graze her abdomen. All she could do was throw her head back and moan at the warmth of his mouth on her skin. He sensed that she was at the edge and his own passion quickened as his hand swept lower.

Sensation after sensation spiraled through her. Her body was no longer her own. Pleasure, deep and dark, robbed her of her will. Still glorifying in this feeling, she wanted more. She wanted -

"God Brock!" She moaned as his hands and mouth drove her higher. Clawing at the sheets, her head tossed fitfully as she tried to hold off the inevitable as they both became one. He teased at first, making her moan his name louder as the pushing became harder, deeper, and faster. There was no controlling the volume of moans as they both reach their highest points. Reba wrapped her legs around his waist and he moved faster. She dug her fingernails into his back and moaned hotly onto his neck, struggling to hold on.

Brock felt his orgasm coming close as he tried to hold back, Reba felt it and she pulled him closer as he felt her heart beat extremely fast. She arched her back as her entire body shook violently. "Oh…God…Reba!" he moaned in a savage growl as they both reached their orgasm for the third time. His body shuddered along with hers and he kissed her passionately. Reba ran her fingers through his hair, as he pulled out and lay down next to her both breathless.

"What are you thinking?" asked Reba a while after. He shook his head. "Were you disappointed?"

It took a moment for her question to sink in. "Disappointed?"

"Yes. I know I'm not very..." Her voice began to trail off; she wasn't able to say it.

Astonished, he pressed back into the pillow so he could see her. "Are you serious?"

She shrugged and with deep chuckle he tightened his arms around her. "Sweetheart, if it had been any better, you'd have to haul me down from the ceiling."

"Really?"

"Of course." He said as he lowered his face to kiss her. "It was fantastic. You're fantastic. And beautiful. And Special. And oh, so, very sexy."

She smiled against his mouth, "You say that now."

He turned over on his side and gazed at her. "The only problem I had with it was -"

"A problem?" she questioned raising an eyebrow.

"Nothing extreme, honey. Just that I'd have to say it went too fast."

"And whose fault was that?" she questioned as he brushed a strand of hair out of her face with his finger.

"Yours."

"Mine?" she asked huskily.

"Yeah. If you weren't so beautiful and special and sexy, I'd have been able to last a lot longer."

She blushed at his comment and leaned over and kissed his lips. Turning to him, she linked her arms around his neck. He groaned at the warmth of her flesh. She smiled when she felt his response. "Let me love you." she said as she touched his bare chest. Suddenly he shifted so that she was on top of him. Covering his mouth with hot, crushing kisses she moved down his neck. "Reba I love you."

"I love you too, Brock." It was the last thing she said before passion claimed them both.

A/N: Hey guys! How long has it been since I last updated? 3 years? lol. Well anyway, I'd like to thank those who have not given up on this story and thanks for all the reviews, I'm ashamed I haven't thanked ya'll sooner. I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter, I actually don't know when my next update will be, I'm going on vacation in a few days to Italy, and I'm know the last thing I'd do would be sit down and write lol. Thanks again for all the wonderful reviews.

- Francesca.


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